- To prevent blindness: Know that the moment you are putting on your mascara – your child will scream. Learn to do it on the run.
- To prevent tension: If you are going to talk to your friend on the phone about your mother-in-law in front of your toddler, know that will be the first thing that they repeat when they start to speak clearly.
- To save your marriage: If you wait for the “perfect time” to have sex- you might have to wait until your “baby” goes to prom. Pick a closet and plan a getaway.
- To save your looks: Know that you will NEVER sleep soundly again. EVER. Remember that you weren’t a super model to begin with, and if you were-GOOD! The rest of us lost sleep thinking about how to compete with you for years!
- To promote good health: There are 5 million ways to make a dinner but one way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Learn it and apply.
- To save your sanity: Know that you are going to fail, feel guilty and compare yourself to other mothers. But your child only has one mother and he/she doesn’t know the difference – YET!!
“I am a 100 percent Sicilian and my family is from the old country – Brooklyn.”
“In my family if you’re an idiot, we call you an idiot. If you’re a scumbag, we call you a scumbag. If you’re a whore, we call you my brother’s wife.”
Comedienne Tammy Pescatelli is the kind of woman you wish was your sister or your best friend. Like a good sister, she‘s always ready with a good joke or lively quip. Tammy learned her funny skills growing up in a large Italian household outside of Cleveland.
Tammy balances her family and her growing career with a lot of laughs on WE tv‘s new reality series, A Stand-Up Mother. Series Premiere, Tuesday, January 25th at 10p|9c. Tammy and her husband moved from the city (LA) to the small town of Meadville, PA to raise their son. In six one-hour episodes, the docuseries follows her life as she juggles a career as a stand-up comedienne, being a wife and mother, and a large extended family.
On her album, IT IS WHAT IT IS, she uses every bit of her experience to make us laugh about family, religion, and even politics (her sister thinks Al Qaeda is a guy from the neighborhood.)
But like a best friend, she also gives us great advice on everything from drinking tips to keeping us grounded (“Just because a man wants to sleep with you doesn‘t mean you‘re sexy. I have brothers that will hump a couch.“) When people ask her – “Where do you get your material?“ Tammy famously replies, “I wake up!“
Being one of the Final Five on NBC‘s “Last Comic Standing 2“ catapulted Tammy‘s career and won her a slew of new fans, solidifying her as one of the sharpest women in the comedy world. She just won “Comedy Central‘s 2010 Stand-Up Showdown, and has appeared twice as a guest on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.“ She has also appeared on National Lampoons “Funny Money,“ NBC‘s “Last Comic Standing: The Best of the Best,“ and Comedy Central‘s “The World Stands Up!“ Tammy also recently appeared in her own half-hour special for Comedy Central, “Comedy Central Presents: Tammy Pescatelli.“ She has performed on the “Jerry Lewis Telethon“ several times. More recently, she has performed on “TBS‘s Evening at the Laugh Factory,“ “Last Call with Carson Daly,“ and has been a guest a number of times on the syndicated show “Comics Unleashed,“ and was chosen for their “Best of the Best“ world wide top selling DVD!
She also was featured weekly as part of the “Fashion Police panel for US Weekly. And giving pros a run for their money in the poker department, Tammy recently participated in the GSN poker series “Poker Royale: Comedians vs. Pros, making it all the way to the finals. She co-stars in the upcoming indie films “Everybody Wants to Be Italian, “Single, and “Made in Brooklyn. Most recently, she has been writing for TBS and performing all over the country.